Pepperoni is the new bacon

Hey bacon move over, there's a new sherif in town. I know what all of you are thinking. Like omg Gotti has lost his fucking mind Pretending that I'm the crazy one here...well lets just set this straight now. You're all crazy and you're also all really bad liars and in denial. Pepperoni came in with a bang and its here to stay. Maybe it doesn't have the versatility of bacon, but fuck versatility. This is a homerun contest. Pepperoni is one of the very few things that can't really be fucked up. You ever ate microwaved bacon? Shits fucking gross. How bout eating bacon straight out the fridge from the package? Have fun with salmonella you filthy animals. Bacon is great don't get me wrong, but when it comes down to it, bacon just doesn't hit the long ball quite as long as pepperoni. Bacon might even hit more homeruns, but it's not hitting jaw dropping moonfruit cockshots like pepperoni is. Bottom line Long live the Roni and if you disagree maybe arnold will break your arm off.

customer surveys

Get a load of this bitch!

DM- 'Please, not a boy,’ I hissed at my sister Harriet. ‘If it’s a boy, I’ll just die. I can only deal with one man in my life... and sometimes that’s one too many.’ I’d just announced my second pregnancy, and a nagging fear that had started from the moment I saw my positive pregnancy test weeks earlier had grown into a full-blown conviction that I felt ashamed to admit out loud. I really didn’t want a boy. Please don’t condemn me. I know very little about boys, coming from a family of all girls, but what I have seen I really haven’t liked. Boys are gross; they attack their siblings with sticks, are obsessed with toilets, casually murder local wildlife and turn into disgusting teenage boys and then boring, selfish men.

Is this bitch serious? How in the motherfuck could anyone on this earth want a daughter more than a son? It's an automatic no brainer that sons are better than daughters. Have fun giving this little girl 100% of your attention 100% of the time. You think you can just give a little girl legos and expect her to play with them for more than 20 minutes without crying and screaming about how she wants a fuckin pony? Oh yeah and have fun with your little daughter when she grows tits and starts wearing make up. Nothing I fear more than having a daughter who's gonna be a slut. My son is gonna be the one dogging your little girl sending her home to mommy crying because all he wanted was a blowjob and he didnt wanna kiss her. No way in hell is having a girl the right route. Have fun watching highschool basketball. I'm sure your daughter will be like the girls on the team that lost 107-2.  But seriously this bitch can only deal with one man in her life and sometimes that's too many? CLOSET DYKE/FEMINAZI. If you dont like men divorce your husband and start munching carpet. By god self righteous women like yourself are the reason that this earth will one day burn to the ground. Because men can only deal with bitches like you for so long before things get violent. Bottom line you're gonna have a son and he's gonna be a womanizing wife beater.

P.S. Who would marry this broad? This dude must have such a small penis and must hate sex so much.

This is what a real breakfast looks like

This is what a real southern breakfast looks like. This isnt a fairy ass blueberry muffin or a Jewish bagel.  This is real down south boolshit. Bacon lots of fawkin bacon, eggs, biscuit and Gravy Mang, and the coup de gras of southern breakfast Cheese Grits. That's cheese and grits. All smothered in an african american favorite...hot sauce. Oh and whats that in the corner? Is that a cup of coffee that's gonna burn my fucking tongue and ruin the rest of my day? No! That's sweet damn tea. Sugar and Tea mixed into a delicious sugar and tea concoction. Real Men here in the south.

I'm not buyin it

Bar Refaeli isn't tricking me. I dont know who she thinks she's kidding. Like look Bar this video gave me a full hard on. I'm not ashamed to say it. If I didn't get a hard on I'd be driving 100 mph to visit a doctor with a PHd in "You might be gay", but seriously do you really expect us to believe that a smokebomb bitch such as your self is really cleaning her own pool? Like that's such petty work its hilarious. Smokes like you are supposed to hire 18 year old boys to clean your pool once a week while you sunbathe in the skimpiest sluttiest bikini you have. Just crippling the pool boy rendering him completely defenseless trying to keep his boner tucked in his waistband so you dont laugh at him. Complete rookie move by Bar here. Step up your supermodel game.

Is this the most disgusting thing you ever seen?

DM - A seven-month-old girl was taken to hospital Saturday by concerned parents after an area just below her jaw swelled up to the size of one and a half golf balls with a pimple on top. After initially diagnosing an infection, doctors were shocked when they discovered a two-inch-long black feather had got lodged underneath Mya Whittington's skin. Aaron and Emma Whittington first took their nearly seven-month-old daughter to Hutchinson Regional Medical Center, Kansas on Saturday after the area below her jaw swelled up. 'They thought it was a swollen gland,' Aaron Whittington said.  The hospital administered an antibiotic and sent the family home. Mya's grandmother took her back to the hospital after a 'pimple' appeared on the swollen area, which had now grown to the size of about one and a half golf balls, Aaron Whittington said. 'She looked like Quasimodo,' her father said.

Maybe these two dimwits should stop letting Tucan Sam baby sit their 7 month old girl? But seriously how the hell does this happen? This is easily the most disgusting thing I've heard/seen. I'd rather watch Sam Cassell bang my girlfriend while high on bath salts than think about this again. 

P.S. Your daughter looked like Quasimodo dude? You know he's a big french retard with a bad back right?

Double P.S. There is no way in hell Quasimodo banged Esmeralda

Has Barabara Walters lost her shit?

DM- Barbara Walters asked New Jersey governor Chris Christie about his weight during an interview for her annual Most Fascinating People special. She asked the governor and possible Republican presidential nominee if he agrees with the criticism that he is too fat to run for the position of Commander in Chief. 'That's ridiculous, I mean that's ridiculous- I don't know what the basis for that is,' he said in the interview. Though he brushes off his weight as a possible hindrance to any future political aspirations, Christie acknowledged that he is aware of the interest in his shapely figure. 'I feel very uncomfortable asking this question when I am sitting opposite you, but you are a little overweight,' Walters asked. 'More than a little,' he responded. She then went on to ask if he knew the reason why, and he simply responded: 'If I could figure that out, I'd fix it.'

Hey Barbara, what the hell is wrong with you? You don't think *Governor* knows he's fat? You old bitch. Speaking as a first rate fat man myself I will let you know I look in the mirror every day with self loathing pity, but you know what Barbara? I just keep eating. Because unlike fat broads fat men can still find attractive people to bang them. It's science. No man in his right mind would possibly bang a fat broad because he wants to. There has to be a motive behind it. Not the same for women. Women love money, power, and fame. Think about all the Fat guys who are rich and famous and are bagging broads most men dream about. I read today that Fidel Castro banged 30,000 women in his life! Worst case scenario a Fat dude rolls into the strip club throws down 200 or 300 hundred dollars and guess what? He's fuckin a naughty girl with low morals, big old fake titties, and the ability to suck the skin off his Hotdog.  Listen Grandma, lay off the fat jokes and go get a face lift or something you're making me lose me lunch. As for you Chris *Governor* Christie keep doing you. Don't let any woman tell you that you should cut back on the stromboli and the cannolis.

Google really thinks theyre slick

Huff- What were the hottest topics sought by Web users' fingertips this past year? Google has lifted the curtain on a few of them, in a look back at the top search trends of the year. The search engine's Google Zeitgeist 2012 site is now open, inviting curious minds to explore the 142 trillion events, photos, trends, songs, gadgets and celebrities that captured our attention over the past 12 months. Google also released its annual video retrospective of the year's most memorable search topics (see above).


You know normally I don't shit on giant black men because they're giant and black but did that many people really care about Michael Clark Duncan? I mean his best role was when he played Jake Harper's girlfriend's father in 2 and a half men.  Like he's a big giant almost moronic character. What about Witney Houston…I mean I know guys, she was a great singer and all but come on she should been dead at least a decade ago. She's been playing nose games with the fun dip powder for 20 years and you know what they say about half black chicks who play nose games with the fun dip powder for 20 years? Their hearts explode. Now all of that being said there is no way that Google is telling the truth to us. Please tell me how Porn is not the number 1 thing searched on google? I mean just last night I searched google mercilessly for 3 hours trying to find videos of this new sex bomb Mia Malkova. Does google really expect me to believe that Kate Upton's tits weren't searched for more than that fat korean fuck who actually wants all of us to burn in hell? Fool me once? Shame on you. Fool me twice? Shame on me. Fool me nine times? Mike D'antoni of search engines.