With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I've decided to rank the necessities that come with this absolute gem of a holiday.
10. Mashed Potatoes
No explanation needed here. A thanksgiving staple.
9. Cranberry Sauce
If you don't like cranberry sauce, kindly go shove a fork in your eye, and then jump off a bridge. In that order.
8. Grandparents' Stories
Every year, you hear something ridiculous from your grandpa. There's nothing like hearing the same old war story or absurdly racist joke again.
7. Desserts
Apple pie, cheesecake, lemon meringue pie, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, you name it. The perfect way to top off your feast.
6. Leftovers
No joke, I may look forward to Thanksgiving more for the leftovers than the meal itself. The possibilities are endless...
5. Stuffing
Seriously though if you don't appreciate stuffing then fuck you.
4. Napping
Naps are necessary not only from the inevitable food coma, but to get some time away from all of the crazy relatives you only see once per year.
3. NFL Football
Nothing beats watching Tony Romo choke in big games, and Thanksgiving is the best time to do so in front of millions. I wish Brady was playing.
2. Turkey/Ham
Whether you prefer turkey, ham or even duck, this is the main staple of the thanksgiving meal and isn't to be fucked with.
1. Beer
Beer is not only delicious, but it is a must-have for Thanksgiving. What better way to deal with your whacko relatives than to slug down some beers on a day where you have absolutely zero responsibilities.
This list is Blasphemy. Left-overs and stuffing are being absolutely shafted here. Frankly stuffing is my favorite part of thanksgiving this may only be my opinion but that's because I'm fucking right. Also i realize that turkey is the "Main Event" of Thanksgiving but in all honesty, I would be perfectly content loading my plate up with just sides and desserts and passing out like the fat bastard that i am.
ReplyDeleteMatt putting beer as number 1 on this list is a testament to how much of an alcoholic you are, god bless.
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