Daily News - A drunk British hotel guest who burst naked from a cupboard with a fire hose rammed up his butt said he was "truly ashamed" of his sick antics. Joseph Small this week walked free from court despite pleading guilty to a night of mayhem at the Premier Inn Leicester Square in London on Oct. 31. The 20-year-old confessed to being loaded on booze as he stripped off his clothes, grabbed a fourth floor extinguisher, slid the pipe up between his buttocks and started to masturbate. He then urinated on a carpet and lift door, screamed racist abuse at a Bangladeshi worker and told a cop he looked like a pedophile.
This is like one of those stories your weird buddy tells you and from then on out you avoid him at all costs. Like before this you hung out with him cause he was funny and did stupid shit, but you were always on the edge about him. And now its like "See guys! I always told you Joseph was a fucking sicko! I knew he wasn't lying when he said his dog Lady licked peanut butter off his balls in 6th grade." Everybody has that friend that they're uneasy about and always question whether they are insane or not. This guy Joe though? He definitely takes the cake. I don't even think the dude is gay, I think he was just curious. Curious to see if he could fit the hose up his ass. Why he was whippin his sausage stick and peeing on the floor though I can not explain. I will say this...there is a negative zero percent chance that this is the first and last time Joseph has stuck something in his bum and jerked it. Calling a cop a pedophile while you've got a fire extinguisher hose in your ass is an oxymoron to say the least.
PS- What kind of racist jokes can you make about a dude from Bangladesh? Oh you cheap t-shirt making bastard! Don't you dare try and pull this fire extinguisher hose out of my asshole!!
Double PS - I'm not against girls sticking things in my ass as long as my dick is in their mouth. Does that make me gay?
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